The Betrayal

Every prescription medication comes with “inserts.” These are required (by the FDA in the US) to present information about effectiveness and risk. Antibiotics, anti-depressants, even prescription fungal creme and many over-the-counter medications come with package inserts, with consumption instructions and risk assessment. That is, every prescription drug except vaccines. Vaccines come with the “Vaccine Information Sheet.”

I might have gotten these Vaccine Information Sheets when my son was vaccinated but, I don’t remember seeing one. Mothers I’ve asked had no recollection of the Vaccine Information Sheet either. Maybe I glossed over it because the first page is all about why you should vaccinate and I was skeptical and wanted the reasons I might not want to vaccinate. I had heard rumors of a link between autism and vaccines but never found anything conclusive.

I learned about the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP) in the early days of the coronavirus shutdown. This program began in 1986 to provide impunity to vaccine manufactures. It compensates people for vaccine injuries. Seventy five cents from every vaccine goes into the fund. We can credit this program with the massive expansion in the number and frequency of vaccines (many of which are mandated) in children (now over 30 by age 5).

The history of the Program, as I understand it, is that a particularly dangerous vaccine (the former version of the pertussis vaccine, which killed a lot of babies), led manufacturers to evaluate the risks and decide or at least say that they would stop producing vaccines without impunity (exemption from legal liability). This Compensation Program gives them impunity.

In 2018, the payouts since its inception totaled $4.4 BILLION dollars.

When I learned that dollar amount, I felt completely betrayed.

For three years had I looked for information on vaccine safety. The best I found was a book by Dr Sears that cautiously described some of the values and problems associated with vaccines. My decisions were positively informed by that book. The Vaccine Compensation Program was mentioned in a paragraph on page 208 of my version but I missed it (with my 4 jobs and focus on the individual vaccines as they came up with each appointment). My take-away concerning the vaccine schedule was that there isn’t enough research concerning the safety of adjuvants and the efficacy and risks of multiple vaccination (babies and kids might be getting too many at once). So, I delayed and spaced out the vaccines that I thought were relatively safe and important and skipped several others that I thought were unnecessary and risky.

As a parent having heard rumors of vaccine-related autism, my fears were most frequently met with disdain. Yet there is some research that suggests my fears were valid. I had also heard that research linking autism with measles vaccine had been discredited and that studies have proven that vaccines don’t cause autism. That claim, however, is dubious if not false.

If a scientist was genuinely curious about whether or not this vaccine and autism were related, the first thing they [would] do is they would do an epidemiological study looking backward at kids who had never gotten any vaccines and those who had. And second thing they would do is they would take an animal model, like monkeys, chimpanzees — something close to us — and they’d give a group no vaccines and they’d give the other group the vaccines on the same kind of schedule that we give. Neither of those relatively simple acts of science have been done, because the results may devastate the public health program

“JB Handley, “No Study Shows Vaccines Didn’t Cause My Son’s Autism” PBS Frontline March 15, 2015 (accessed 9/19/20) “Vaccines and Autism — Is the Science Really Settled?” .

At the beginning of the pandemic, I discovered a body of information via the Children’s Health Defense (including a database of research) and people who seemed to share my concern about vaccine safety). With each article, I climbed out of a vacuum of censorship and with each step, I became more and more upset.

The Vaccine Injury Table and vaccine inserts (including pages of postmarked risks) and the payout total of the Compensation program were enough to send me to the edge. Never, ever again! I felt completely betrayed.

Robert Kennedy Jr., argues (in this interview) that vaccines should be tested like any other drug. He thinks that if people could hear his commonsense position they would agree but they can’t because he’s censored. This is a screen shot from my phone a few weeks ago:

He says Google, Facebook and Instagram censor what his organization is saying. The reason he describes is the entanglement of these organizations with the pharmaceutical industry including Googles’ $715 million dollar deal with GlaxoSmithKline, harvesting medical data, and its partnership with Alphabet that has subsidiaries that manufacture vaccines. He says, (and my experience supports this) that Google deliberately directs searches away from anything that harms the pharmaceutical industry.

During the early days of the quarantine (in March), these points were incredibly clear to me. Whenever I opened the “People of Leicester” Facebook page and clicked on an off-the-norm covid-related post from a person in Leicester (my town), it had been blocked. From questions about the origin of the virus to questions concerning our response, Facebook blocked content that diverged from the mainstream narrative, which, at this time could be summarized by Dr. Fauci’s position and recommendations.

During the early onset of the pandemic there may have been no time for discussion and democracy but we’re now in month nine. And, there are dissenting opinions among man including scientists.

In a US House Financial Services Committee (in October 2019, addressing Facebook’s cryptocurrency plans), representative Posey challenged Zuckerberg on Facebook’s practice of censoring information about vaccine injury, Zuckerberg responded: “people want us to stop the spread of misinformation…” Posey rebuffed that vaccine injury is real (to the tune of more than $4 Billion to the Fund, ie: not “misinformation”) and pressed him to describe Facebook’s practice for suppressing that information on their platform. Zuckerberg said they allow people to post anything they want but they direct searches away from anti-vaxx posts and anti-vaxx pages.

Since the vaccine manufactures gained impunity in 1986, the number of vaccine doses a child gets before the age of five has risen from 10 to 38. Given their impunity and the fact that many of the vaccines on the schedule are mandatory for school, babies and kids are a lucrative, captive market. Imagine the profits!

On the brighter side, the 2018 report on VICP payouts from the Health and Human Resources Service Administration, demonstrates that the number of people compensated for vaccine injury is low. According to the CDC, there were 3.7 billion doses of vaccines issued between 2006 and 2018 with only 1 compensated claim per 1 million doses of the covered vaccines.

Since 1988, there have only been 22,239 petitions filed to the Program.

I remember my experience. For three years of my son’s life never knowing about “the Program” and my friends, who, like me, had never heard of the Vaccine Information Sheet, the Compensation Program or the Vaccine Inserts. I think of my friends whose kids suffer from autism and the kids in school with “hyper sensitivity disorder” (listed on postmarking surveillance in vaccine inserts) who, like our health professionals, avow an absolute allegiance to the safety of vaccines. Given the upward trend in autism since 1986, the prevalence of autism among kids in the US (1 in 54 in 2016, even higher for boys), the science concerning the possible connection should be robust! And it’s far, far from it.

I think of my knitting friend whose daughter is autistic who said, “it’s been proven that vaccines don’t cause autism,” (she’s going by the experts and their 27 terribly imperfect studies) and several other parents I know who don’t or can’t question the possible link between their kids’ developmental or neurological disorder and vaccines. They say it’s SCIENCE! But, the research concerning the potential link between autism and vaccines seems to be deliberately neglected (Dr. Bernadine Healy on CBS News 2008).

It’s not outlandish to suggest (as RFK Jr has) that the science is skewed toward its major funding sources and beneficiaries (vaccine manufactures and their allies at the NIH and CDC). Maybe their intentions are good; maybe they are just too far down the rabbit hole to ask if the system they’ve invested their careers in might be doing more harm than good. I know my son’s doctor has good intentions. Maybe they won’t invest in research on the potential relationship between autism and vaccines because they’re scared to death of what might come out.

Whatever the reason, the people in positions of power (that my son’s doctor listens to) in our national and state health agencies (including the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious disease) have conflicts of interest that include vaccine patent payouts and current and former positions and/or entanglements with pharmaceutical companies. Why wouldn’t they fund appropriate and necessary research to investigate the potential link between neurological, developmental conditions and vaccines? If there turns out to be no connection, people who are concerned with this question would feel a lot better about vaccines!

As Dr. Larry Palevsky testified in a Connecticut state hearing (2/19/20) on removing religious exemptions from vaccine mandates, we hear that vaccines are unequivocally safe. Yet:

We have a public health crisis in our midst, chronic illness, brain damage, neuro developmental disability. And there are chemicals in the vaccines that are shown in animal studies to contribute to this kind of brain inflammation that we are turning our backs on… we are ignoring it for the sake of continuing to vaccinate… [State Rep asks a question, Palevsky responds]

[Y]ou heard earlier that there is no real concern about aluminum because it’s such a small amount. And so it really shouldn’t matter. But the kind of aluminum that we put into vaccines is a different kind of aluminum than we see
environmentally. This is called a nanoparticle. And nanoparticles bind really tightly to the bacteria antigens, the virus antigens, the food protein antigens, and any other contaminants that are in the vaccines that we may not know about. And we know that the biochemical properties of nanoparticles is that they are capable of entering the brain. And so we have not evaluated the safety of the aluminum nanoparticle and its injection and where it goes when it gets into the body and whether it gets into the brain…

There have been numerous studies by people outside the mainstream medical community who have attempted to look at what happens to the nanoaprticle when its intended into the body. And they have found that not only does it penetrate the brain, it persists for years. And so, again if we are seeing a public health emergency of chronically disabled and chronically ill children, and we know that there are ingredients in vaccines that can potentially contribute to that happening and we don’t have any scientific studies examining whether or not any of these ingredients contribute to the development of these chronic inflammatory conditions, we have a problem.

Transcript of Connecticut Public Health Committee Public Hearing Feb. 19th 2020 ( accessed 9/15/20) See the Palevsky’s full testimony here: (accessed 9/15/20)

As I told my son’s doctor on Tuesday, if the current vaccine safety advocates are censored, and the research that needs to happen isn’t funded (because the people at the NIH, CDC and WHO are literally currently or formerly on the payroll or patents of vaccine manufacturing industries), and vaccine safety information (from parents and inserts) continues to be obscured, NO ONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE ANY of it!

And by this, I meant ALL of it including, at this point: the vaccines (like the flu vaccine that the governor of MA just mandated for my son and the upcoming coronavirus vaccines), masks, shutdowns, models and tests.

What happens we relinquish the power of science to the funding, will and media exploits of monopolistic power? Whose interests are shaping the discourses of the most fundamental public and personal health decisions right now?

The computer models of Covid scenarios that necessitated the rush of 45,000 ventilators to NYC were flawed! I hold no fault here. I think the abundance of caution including the quarantines were in order. But I also think it would be interesting to dissect the predictions and the precautions taken based on them, not to mention the outcomes of other strategies.

The outcomes and case-fatality ratios in Sweden (no full lock-down) as compared to the UK (strict lock-down) are not that different. Sweden has a lower case-fatality rate than UK. But the mainstream media is not talking about that. They were (and perhaps are), however, talking about hydroxychloroquine and the problematic (subsequently withdrawn) study that justified the ongoing rush towards vaccine trials because there was no alternative treatment. If hydroxychloroquine, with zinc and azithromycin works, the press here will never cover it. Indeed, the crazy frontline doctors who spoke out about it were censored and scrubbed from the internet (even their wordpress page was taken down) for suggesting it works.

If you need to send your kid to school (as most of us do) they have you by the proverbial balls (at least in NY and CA).

If you listen to Bill Gates (as many Americans do, on NPR or on the nightly news), we will never go back to normal until there’s a vaccine. We need to vaccinate 6 billion people (including healthy kids who have no statistical likelihood of dying from this disease)

The problem is that if, in the current context, you question (like I have) the efficacy, necessity or safety of the vaccines on the current vaccine schedule (and thus vaccine mandates), or the governmental response to the current pandemic (such as the recent flu vaccine mandate for school children including daycare and preschool), your questions alone somehow align you with white supremacist, anti-vaxx, deep state conspiracy theorists. Worse, these questions align you with Trump and his anti-science base.

That was my experience at the beginning of this crisis but it’s changing in a hilarious way now. As the president began talking up the vaccines, the anti-Trump left might be getting curious about vaccine safety.

What if you respect and value science but you believe (and can demonstrate with evidence) that scientific narratives are being monopolized by a minority of powerful, corrupt beneficiaries?

Questions concerning vaccine safety, media censorship and corruption at the highest levels are deeply intertwined and more important than ever.

So I enter the black box

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